Introducing Yourself In Brunei Language: A Guide

The official language of Brunei is Standard Malay, which was established in 1959 with the signing of the country's constitution. Malay is used for most official purposes, in courts, and as a medium of instruction in schools. However, the local dialect, Brunei Malay, is the most widely spoken language in the country and is used in informal settings, such as at home, between friends, and in shops. It is also spoken as a lingua franca in some parts of East Malaysia. While English is widely used in business and is spoken by a majority of the population, it is not the primary language of instruction in schools. Other languages spoken in Brunei include Chinese, Indian, Nepali, and various indigenous languages.

Greeting men

• Handshake or Head Bow: When greeting men in Brunei, you may encounter two common practices. Many men, especially those who have adopted Western customs, will offer a handshake. However, it is important to note that older Bruneian men may prefer to bow their heads as a respectful greeting.
• Hand to Heart Gesture: After shaking hands, Bruneian men often raise their hand to their heart. This gesture is a sign of respect and an indication that they value the connection made through the handshake.
• Language Choice: The official language of Brunei is Standard Malay. When introducing yourself, it is appropriate to use Standard Malay for formal occasions. However, if you are in an informal setting, such as chatting with friends or shopping, you may hear or use Brunei Malay (Melayu Brunei), which is the local dialect.
• Greeting Seniors: When greeting men who are senior to you in age or position, it is considered respectful to bow your head. Maintaining eye contact with seniors is generally avoided as it can be seen as disrespectful.
• Indirect Communication: Bruneians value maintaining "face," which refers to avoiding causing embarrassment or issues that could jeopardize harmony. As a result, their communication style tends to be indirect and ambiguous to those from cultures where direct communication is the norm. They may use evasive responses or insincere agreements to preserve harmony.
• Greeting in Business: In a business setting, introductions should be formal and demonstrate respect. It is important to introduce the most important person on your team first. Handshakes tend to be light, and business cards are typically exchanged after introductions.
• Titles: Titles are important in Brunei and can be complex. Addressing someone by their title is common, and they may have multiple words in their title. For example, titles like "Pengiran," "Awangku," and "Dayangku" indicate a relation to the royal family.
• Punctuality: Punctuality is not strictly adhered to in social settings. Arriving a little late to a dinner invitation, for example, is generally acceptable and will not cause offense.

Remember that these guidelines provide a general overview, and cultural norms may vary within Brunei. Always be mindful of local customs and respect the preferences of the individuals you meet.

Greeting women

In social settings, such as meeting a friend or acquaintance, Bruneian women may greet each other with a gentle bow or a nod of the head. This is a respectful and polite way to acknowledge each other without physical contact. Shaking hands between women is not common, and physical greetings are generally reserved for close friends or family members. When meeting an older woman or someone in a position of authority, it is considered respectful to bow your head slightly as a sign of deference and politeness. Maintaining eye contact during greetings is also not common, especially when greeting someone who is older or has a higher social status.

In business settings, foreign businesswomen should avoid initiating a handshake with Bruneian women and instead opt for a nod of the head as a greeting. This is because gender relations in Brunei are governed by Islamic principles and etiquette, which often discourage physical contact between members of the opposite sex. When introducing yourself to a Bruneian woman in a business setting, it is important to use appropriate titles and honourifics, such as "Dayang" for a woman, followed by their name. Business cards should be presented with both hands or with the right hand supported by the left hand as a sign of respect.

In family settings, Bruneian women may greet each other with a gentle bow or a nod, especially when meeting older female relatives. As mentioned earlier, physical greetings like hugging or kissing are generally reserved for close family members. When greeting female relatives, it is common to inquire about their well-being and the well-being of their family members. Greeting the eldest person first is considered good manners, and it is important to wait to be told where to sit, as this shows respect for the family's hierarchy.

When greeting women in religious settings, such as at a mosque or during religious gatherings, Bruneian women may offer a gentle bow or a nod of the head. It is important to remember that physical contact between members of the same sex is generally discouraged in Islamic culture, especially in religious spaces. Modesty and respect are key aspects of greeting women in religious settings. Additionally, it is important to follow the dress code and behavioural guidelines prescribed by the religious institution to ensure that your greeting is appropriate and respectful.

When greeting women in public spaces, such as on the street or in a store, a simple nod or a gentle smile is often sufficient. Bruneian women may not expect or initiate physical contact with strangers in public spaces. If you are greeting a woman who is older or appears to have a higher social status, it is respectful to bow your head slightly or place your right hand over your heart as a sign of deference. Greeting women in public spaces should be done in a polite and modest manner, respecting their personal space and privacy.

Greeting people of higher status

When meeting and greeting, it is customary to introduce the most important person on your team first. Handshakes are usually light, and Bruneian men often place their hand over their heart after shaking hands. However, it is important to note that most Bruneians do not shake hands with members of the opposite sex. Foreign businesswomen should nod their head in greeting, while foreign businessmen should wait for a Bruneian woman to extend her hand first.

When exchanging business cards, always use both hands or your right hand with the left hand supporting the right. Business cards are typically exchanged after introductions and handshakes, and it is considered respectful to examine the card before putting it away.

Communication style is also important when greeting people of higher status in Brunei. Bruneians value harmony and tend to communicate indirectly to avoid embarrassing someone or causing them to lose face. They may use evasive responses or insincere yeses, which can be frustrating for those from more direct cultures. It is important for foreigners to refrain from displaying impatience, anger, or irritation, as these emotions are considered embarrassing in Bruneian culture.

In summary, when greeting people of higher status in Brunei, remember to be formal, respectful, and deferential. Introduce the most important person on your team first, use appropriate greetings and titles, and be mindful of communication style and body language to avoid causing offence.

Greeting people in a business setting

Greeting Protocol

• Greetings should be formal and respectful, especially towards those who are older or hold a higher position.
• Handshakes tend to be light, and Bruneian men often raise their hands to their hearts after shaking hands.
• It is important to introduce the most important person on your team first.
• Most Bruneians do not shake hands with members of the opposite sex. Foreign businesswomen should nod their heads in greeting, while foreign businessmen should wait for a Bruneian woman to extend her hand first.
• Titles are important and can be complex. Address people by their titles, such as "Pengiran," "Awangku," and "Dayangku," which indicate a relation to the royal family. "Awang" and "Dayang" are also used as honorifics for men and women, respectively.
• Business cards are typically exchanged after introductions and handshakes. Present and receive business cards with both hands or with the right hand supported by the left hand.
• Examine a received business card before putting it away, as this shows respect.
• Avoid writing on a person's business card in their presence, as it is considered a breach of etiquette.

Communication Style

• Bruneian communication is generally formal and respectful, especially towards those who are older or hold higher positions.
• Hierarchy is important, so older businesspeople should be greeted before younger ones.
• Bruneians value group harmony and tend to communicate indirectly to avoid causing embarrassment or making someone lose face.
• Bruneians tend to avoid displaying emotions like impatience, anger, or irritation, as these are considered embarrassing.
• Tone of voice, body language, eye contact, and facial expressions are often more important than the words spoken.
• Bruneians commonly ask personal questions about topics like wages, so be prepared to handle these inquiries diplomatically.

Dress Code

• Dress conservatively and modestly, respecting the predominantly Islamic culture.
• Men typically wear suits, and women usually wear suits or conservative dresses.

Punctuality

Punctuality is generally expected, but it is common for people to arrive a few minutes late without causing offense.

Gift-Giving

• Gifts are not required but can be given if invited to someone's home. Appropriate gifts include good quality chocolates or fruit.
• Avoid giving gifts made of pigskin or containing gelatin or non-halal ingredients.
• Do not use white wrapping paper, as it symbolizes death and mourning.
• Offer and receive gifts with the right hand only or both hands if the item is large.

Dining Etiquette

• If invited to dine at someone's home, it is considered good manners to accept food and beverages offered. Refusing may be seen as a personal rejection.
• Food is often served buffet-style or on a revolving tray in the centre of the table.
• Wait to be invited to eat before starting, and use only your right hand or cutlery if provided.
• Do not eat with your left hand, as it is considered unclean.
• It is common for the guest of honour or the eldest person to be served first.

Business Meetings

• Advise your Bruneian counterparts in advance about who will be attending the meeting, and send a brief business biography of each attendee.
• Ensure that the most senior person on your team enters the room first to show respect for the Bruneian culture.
• The most senior person from each side may sit opposite each other.
• The most senior Bruneian will often give a brief welcoming speech, and it is a good idea for you to have a few welcoming words prepared as well.
• Expect a period of small talk before discussing business. Do not rush this process, as it is important for building rapport and a good working relationship.
• Bruneians prefer to use the first meeting to get to know their counterparts and build trust rather than diving into in-depth discussions.

Remember that these are general guidelines, and specific practices may vary depending on the individuals and organisations involved.

Greeting people in social settings

• Language: The official language of Brunei is Standard Malay, which was established by the 1959 Constitution. However, in social settings, you will often hear people speaking Brunei Malay, the local dialect. This dialect is used in informal conversations between friends, family, and in shops. It is also important to note that English is widely spoken and understood, especially in business contexts and among the educated population.
• Body Language: Bruneians generally avoid direct eye contact, especially when addressing elders or those in positions of authority. It is considered disrespectful and rude to stare directly into someone's eyes. Instead, a respectful greeting involves a gentle bow of the head.
• Gender Norms: In Bruneian culture, men and women do not traditionally shake hands. Instead, men may shake hands with each other, while women may nod their heads in greeting. However, younger Bruneians may be more open to shaking hands with foreign women. If you are unsure, it is best to follow the lead of your Bruneian counterparts.
• Age and Hierarchy: Brunei is a hierarchical culture where age and position are highly respected. When greeting people in social settings, it is customary to greet the eldest person first. This shows respect for their seniority.
• Indirect Communication: Bruneians generally prefer indirect communication to avoid causing embarrassment or making someone lose face. They tend to be very polite and well-mannered. Tone of voice, body language, and facial expressions are often more important than the words spoken.
• Greeting Customs: When visiting a Bruneian home, it is customary to bring gifts such as good quality chocolates or fruit. Punctuality is not strictly adhered to, and you may arrive a little late without causing offence. Remember to remove your shoes before entering.
• Dining Etiquette: When dining with Bruneians, it is considered good manners to accept food and beverages offered to you. Refusing hospitality may be seen as a personal rejection. Wait to be invited to eat before starting your meal, and always use your right hand or both hands to eat, as the left hand is considered unclean.

By understanding and adhering to these guidelines, you will be well-prepared for greeting people in social settings in Brunei. Remember to be respectful, polite, and mindful of cultural differences to make a positive impression.

Frequently asked questions