Lyla Lindsey
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse and manipulation that involves a pattern of abusive behaviours with the intent to control someone. While gaslighting is not a crime in itself, it can constitute workplace harassment and is illegal under coercive control laws in some Australian states and territories. These laws criminalise controlling behaviours that cause harm and give the abuser power and domination over the victim. As such, the act of gaslighting can be considered illegal in certain contexts where it meets the criteria for coercive control or workplace harassment.
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What You'll Learn
Gaslighting at work
Gaslighting is a growing concern in Australian workplaces. It is a form of bullying or psychological manipulation designed to make someone feel inferior. It causes self-doubt and confusion in the victim, who starts to mistrust their perception of reality. Gaslighting is predicated on manipulation and typically involves a long-term strategy of undermining another person, causing them to question their version of reality and skewing the power dynamic in the perpetrator's favour.
Gaslighting can occur between a manager and an employee or between two colleagues who work closely together and may be competing for a project or a promotion. It can also occur in groups, where several people gang up to gaslight a colleague. It is worth noting that gaslighting is determined through the victim's eyes, rather than whether the individual accepts blame or responsibility.
Gaslighting can constitute workplace harassment as it involves unwelcome, offensive and undeserved behaviour, comments and/or actions. It can be subtle or blatant, and the perpetrator can be charming or nasty. Gaslighting can be considered a form of domestic abuse in Australia, and several states have either criminalised coercive control or are introducing such legislation. These laws are intended to protect victims from manipulation, intimidation, and controlling behaviours, of which gaslighting is often a significant component.
If you feel your boss is gaslighting you, it can be tricky because managers who gaslight typically get defensive when confronted. They may turn the situation around and accuse you of not having a thick enough skin or a sense of humour. It is beneficial to talk to others about specific examples of gaslighting, such as someone in HR or a person providing Employee Assistance Program services. It could also be a coach or mentor, or a trusted colleague. When doing so, it helps to have documentation of gaslighting times and examples.
Some signs of gaslighting include:
- Setting an employee up for failure by giving them responsibility and then putting up roadblocks to success
- Taking credit for ideas or achievements that belong to someone else
- Making an employee feel they've missed or misunderstood something when they haven't
- Spreading untrue rumours or false stories about colleagues
- Intimidating by threatening to share false information that could ruin someone's reputation
- Negatively impacting confidence by undermining a colleague
- Accusing people of having feelings they don't have
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Gaslighting in personal relationships
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse and manipulation that occurs in personal relationships. It involves one person attempting to dominate and exert control over another by undermining their sense of reality and eroding their confidence. This is done by manipulating the victim's feelings, thoughts, and perceptions, leading them to constantly doubt their sanity, memory, and intelligence. Gaslighting can have severe psychological impacts on the victim, causing them to question their own thinking and perception of the world.
In personal relationships, gaslighting often involves one partner repeatedly denying facts, situations, or the other partner's feelings and needs. They may use phrases like "You're overreacting," "That never happened," or "You're crazy." The abuser's goal is to make the victim dependent on them and to gain power in the relationship. This can lead to the victim questioning their own perceptions and judgments, feeling unable to trust themselves, and becoming increasingly reliant on the abuser.
Gaslighting can also occur within families, particularly in parent-child relationships. It can take the form of denying a child's feelings, rewriting past events, or undermining their self-esteem, often as a way for the parent to maintain control or protect their own insecurities. Children who experience gaslighting may grow up feeling anxious, confused, and detached, with long-term effects on their self-worth and ability to trust their emotions.
It's important to recognize the signs of gaslighting in personal relationships. If you or someone you know is experiencing gaslighting, it's crucial to seek help. Talking to a trusted friend or family member can be a good first step. Additionally, seeking professional help from a therapist or counsellor can provide support and guidance in addressing the issue and healing from the emotional abuse.
Gaslighting is a serious issue that can have detrimental effects on the victim's mental health and well-being. It is important to be aware of the signs and to take action if you or someone you know is experiencing this form of emotional abuse in a personal relationship.
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Coercive control laws in Australia
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse and manipulation, where the perpetrator attempts to dominate another person and evade accountability by attacking the victim's sanity, memory, and intelligence. While gaslighting is not explicitly mentioned in Australian law, it can constitute workplace harassment and is considered a form of non-physical violence.
Coercive control, which involves a pattern of abusive behaviours aimed at establishing power and control over another person, is closely related to gaslighting. As of 2024, the Australian government and all state and territory governments have recognized coercive control as a pressing issue and are working towards addressing it through the National Principles to Address Coercive Control in Family and Domestic Violence.
New South Wales (NSW) is the first Australian state or territory to formally criminalize coercive control, with the new legislation coming into effect in July 2024. The maximum penalty for coercive control in NSW is 14 years' imprisonment.
Queensland followed suit, becoming the second state to criminalize coercive control under the Criminal Law (Coercive Control and Affirmative Consent) and Other Legislation Amendment Bill 2023, passed in March 2024.
In Victoria, coercive behaviour, such as intimidation, threats, and financial abuse, is criminalized under general family violence laws.
The Western Australia government has also announced a phased approach to criminalizing coercive control, starting with legislative reform and education initiatives.
South Australia has drafted and consulted on the Criminal Law Consolidation (Coercive Control) Amendment Bill 2023, which proposes creating a new criminal offence for coercive control.
In Tasmania, the Family Violence Act 2004 introduced two criminal offences related to coercive control: economic abuse and emotional abuse.
While there is growing recognition of coercive control as a form of domestic violence in Australia, data and reporting on this issue are currently limited. However, the National Plan to End Violence against Women and Children 2022–2032 identifies coercive control as a key area of focus, and the Australian government is committed to addressing this issue through the National Principles.
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The impact of gaslighting
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse and manipulation. It involves a person deliberately causing someone to doubt their sanity, memory, feelings, and perception of reality. While the term "gaslighting" has become more frequently used in recent years, it is important to understand its serious nature and impact.
Gaslighting can also lead to feelings of anxiety, sadness, and depression. Victims may feel isolated and alone, and the constant state of self-doubt can erode their sense of identity and autonomy. It can negatively impact their overall life satisfaction and well-being, affecting their happiness, social relationships, and ability to participate in activities they once enjoyed. The psychological impact of gaslighting can be long-lasting, and victims may require support from therapists or other professionals to recover and rebuild their sense of self.
In the context of intimate relationships, gaslighting can be particularly harmful. It is often used as a coercive control tactic, with the abuser gaining power and control over the victim. The victim may become increasingly dependent on the abuser, making it difficult for them to leave the relationship. Gaslighting can also impact the well-being of children in the household, who may feel a need to act as "record-keepers" for the parent being gaslit.
In the workplace, gaslighting can create a toxic environment, fostering a culture of victim-blaming and allowing perpetrators to go unchallenged. It can lead to burnout, decreased job satisfaction, and negative impacts on mental health and well-being. Victims of gaslighting in the workplace may feel compelled to leave their jobs due to the detrimental effects on their mental health.
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How to recognise gaslighting
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse and manipulation. It involves a targeted attempt to dominate another person and shirk accountability for wrongdoing by personally attacking the victim. Gaslighters use several strategies to create doubt and low self-esteem in their victims.
- You constantly second-guess yourself, feel confused, or question your sanity, memory, or judgement.
- You feel like you cannot do anything right and are always apologising.
- You are unable to make decisions and are constantly focused on some perceived character flaw in yourself.
- Conversations with the gaslighter feel like a tug of war and you feel like you are not being heard.
- You feel like you are losing your power or independence in the relationship, and you are scared to leave for fear of not being able to make it on your own.
- The gaslighter makes you doubt your reality through a series of denials, barbed comments, shaming, criticism, and outright lies.
- They take credit for your ideas or achievements, spread rumours about you, or set you up for failure.
If you recognise these signs, it is important to take steps to protect yourself and seek support. This may involve writing down specific conversations or incidents, seeking professional help, or distancing yourself from the gaslighter if possible.
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Frequently asked questions
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse and manipulation. It involves feeding someone false information to make them question their reality and sanity. The term comes from the 1938 play 'Gas Light' and its film adaptation, in which a husband manipulates his wife into believing she is going insane.
Gaslighting is not specifically mentioned in Australian law, but it can be considered a form of coercive control, which is illegal in some Australian states, including Queensland, Victoria, Tasmania, the Australian Capital Territory, and the Northern Territory. NSW was the first state to formally criminalise coercive control, with legislation coming into effect in July 2024.
Gaslighting often involves a pattern of behaviour over time, such as repeated statements that make the victim question their memory, perception, and sanity. The gaslighter may also try to isolate the victim by turning others against them and cutting them off from their support systems.
If you are being gaslit, it is important to reach out for support as soon as possible. You can talk to a trusted friend or family member, a mental health professional, or a support agency. If the gaslighting is occurring in the workplace, you can also consider speaking to HR or a trusted colleague.
