A Heartfelt Farewell: Brunei's Unique Goodbye Customs

Greeting customs vary from country to country, and Brunei is no exception. In Brunei, the official language is Standard Malay, but English is widely spoken, too. Greeting customs in Brunei are hierarchical and respectful, with age and position being revered. When saying goodbye, it is important to know the right expression to use in different situations and contexts, as you don't want to offend someone by being overly formal or informal.

Greeting someone more senior

When greeting someone more senior, it is respectful to bow your head. Shaking hands is also common, especially with men, but this is not always the case with older people or women. If you are a woman greeting a Bruneian woman, you may nod your head in greeting, or wait to see if she extends her hand first. It is considered disrespectful and rude to stare into the eyes of someone who is senior to you in age or status.

If you are greeting a senior person in a business context, it is important to introduce the most important person on your team first. Handshakes tend to be light, and Bruneian men often raise their hands to their heart after shaking hands. Business greetings should be formal and demonstrate respect and deference.

• "Selamat pagi" (good morning)
• "Selamat tengah hari" (good afternoon)
• "Selamat petang" (good afternoon/evening)
• "Selamat malam" (good night)
• "Selamat datang" (welcome)

If you are unsure of the time of day, a simple "hello" or "hi" will also work.

In a more casual context, you could use greetings such as:

• "See you/See you soon/See you later"
• "I've got to get going"
• "I'm heading off"
• "It was fun"

When saying goodbye to a senior person, you can use phrases such as:

• "Selamat tinggal" (if you are the one leaving)
• "Selamat jalan" (if the other person is leaving)
• "Jumpa lagi" (see you around)

Greeting a foreigner

• It is common for Bruneians to greet each other with a handshake, especially among men. However, this may not be the case with older Bruneians or women, who may prefer a nod or a bow of the head. Younger Bruneians may also shake hands with foreign women.
• When greeting someone of the opposite sex, it is respectful to place your right hand over your heart and give a small bow. This is especially important if the person is a foreigner or a non-Muslim.
• The common greeting in Brunei depends on the ethnic origin and age of the person. The most basic way to initiate a conversation is by saying "Hi" or "Hello".
• If you want to be more respectful, you can say "assalamualaikum", which is a greeting in Arabic that means "peace be upon you". The response to this would be "mualaikumsalam", which means "peace also be with you". Alternatively, you can simply say "salam".
• Greeting someone in the local language, Melayu Brunei (Brunei Malay), can be a nice way to connect with the locals. In the mornings, you can say "selamat pagi" (good morning), in the afternoons, "selamat petang" (good afternoon), and in the evenings, "selamat malam" (good evening).
• When asking how someone is doing, you can say "apa khabar" in a formal setting or "apa abarnya" informally, both of which mean "how are you?" in Malay.
• Keep in mind that Bruneians value respect and politeness, and it is important to respect their religion, culture, traditions, and political system.
• English is widely spoken in Brunei, so you may not face any language barriers when greeting foreigners.

Greeting a friend

The official language of Brunei is Standard Malay, and knowing some basic Malay phrases can be helpful when greeting friends. Here are some options:

• "Selamat pagi" (good morning) is used in the mornings.
• "Selamat petang" (good afternoon) is suitable for the afternoons.
• "Selamat malam" (good evening) is used in the evenings and is often used when closing a conversation.
• "Apa khabar" means "how are you?" and is used in formal settings.
• "Apa abarnya" is the informal version of "how are you?".
• "Makan sudah?" (Have you eaten?) is another common greeting.
• "Apa ada?" means "what's up?" and is a more colloquial greeting.

Physical greetings vary in Brunei depending on the gender and age of the individuals involved, as well as their cultural and religious backgrounds. Here are some guidelines:

• Ethnic Malay men typically shake hands with one another. However, men and women do not traditionally shake hands.
• When meeting someone of the opposite sex, it is respectful to place your right hand over your heart and give a small bow.
• Younger Bruneians may shake hands with foreign women or simply bow their heads in greeting.
• When greeting someone senior to you in age or position, it is respectful to bow your head.
• It is considered rude to stare into the eyes of someone senior to you in age or status.

When greeting a friend in a social setting, such as at a gathering or in their home, there are some cultural norms to be aware of:

• Bruneians generally do not invite foreigners into their homes, so if you are invited, consider it a great honour.
• Punctuality is not strictly adhered to, and it is acceptable to arrive a little late without causing offence.
• When entering a home, it is customary to remove your shoes.
• Greet the eldest person first, and wait to be told where to sit.
• Accepting an offer of food or beverage is considered good manners. Refusing hospitality may be seen as a personal rejection.
• Wait to be invited to eat before starting, and let the guest of honour or eldest person be served first.
• Do not eat with your left hand, as it is considered unclean. Use your right hand only for eating and passing food.
• Many Malays eat with their fingers, but cutlery (usually a fork and tablespoon) may be provided for foreign guests.

Remember that these guidelines provide a general framework for greeting friends in Brunei, but cultural norms may vary depending on the specific context and the individuals involved.

Greeting a colleague

Tips for Greeting a Colleague:

• Personalize your message: Tailor your message to reflect your relationship with the colleague. Whether you are close friends or casual acquaintances, your message should be personalised and genuine.
• Express gratitude and appreciation: Share specific examples of how their work has helped you or the team. Highlight their unique strengths and skills, and mention how they have positively impacted the workplace.
• Stay positive: Even if you are sad to see your colleague leave, focus on the positive aspects of your time together. Keep the farewell event optimistic and uplifting. Avoid dwelling on negative aspects or gossiping about other colleagues or the company.
• Exchange contact information: If you wish to stay in touch and maintain a connection, be sure to exchange contact information. Connect on social media, exchange email addresses or phone numbers, and express your desire to keep in touch.
• Give a personalised gift: Consider a thoughtful gift that shows your appreciation for their individuality. It need not be expensive, but something related to their hobbies or interests outside of work.

Examples of Farewell Messages for a Colleague:

• "I'll miss seeing you around the office. Best of luck in your new company and future endeavours!"
• "Your leadership guided us through challenges, and I know you'll excel in your new role. I wish you all the best!"
• "Thank you for your hard work and dedication. Your contributions have made a real difference. We will miss you!"
• "It has been a pleasure working with you and getting to know you. I wish you continued success and happiness in your future endeavours."
• "Your positive attitude and dedication have brought so much value to our team. We will miss having you around, but I know you are off to great places. Keep in touch!"
• "I'll always remember how supportive and patient you were when I first joined the team. Thank you for your kindness and guidance."
• "Your innovative ideas and dedication have left a lasting impact on our team. We wish you all the best as you embark on your next chapter."
• "It's been an honour to work with someone as talented and dedicated as you. Your presence will be missed, but I know you will thrive in your new role. Stay in touch!"
• "Thank you for being a great colleague and friend. Your professionalism, knowledge, and enthusiasm have been invaluable. I will miss having you on the team, but I am excited for your new opportunities."

Greeting a stranger

If you are greeting an older person or someone in a position of authority, it is respectful to bow your head. It is also considered disrespectful and rude to stare into the eyes of someone who is senior to you in age or status.

When greeting a stranger, it is important to use a formal and respectful tone. Greetings at different times of the day are also considered when initiating a conversation. In the mornings, you would say, "Selamat pagi" (good morning); in the afternoons, "Selamat peteng" (good afternoon); and in the evenings, "Selamat malam" (good evening).

If you want to ask how someone is doing, you can say, "Apa khabar," which is used in formal settings. The informal version is "Apa abarnya." Another greeting is "Makan sudah?" (Have you eaten), which is the equivalent of asking, "How are you?"

If you want to say goodbye to a stranger, you can use the phrase "Jumpa lagi" (See ya next time).

Frequently asked questions