A Traditional Afghan Wedding: A Day Of Celebration And Rituals

Afghan weddings are a significant event in the life of a couple, uniting them until death. The ceremony itself can last 4-5 hours, or longer, but the celebrations can continue for several days. The wedding ceremony only happens once in a lifetime, so it is meant to be enjoyable, exciting, hilarious, and memorable. Afghan weddings are formal and hospitable, making them a representative celebration of conventional Afghan life and culture.

Afghan weddings can last several days

Afghan weddings are elaborate, multi-day celebrations that are often expensive. The festivities typically span several days, with various rituals and traditions being observed before, during, and after the wedding ceremony.

The day before the wedding is dedicated to the henna party, where the bride gathers with her female family members and friends. The groom's family provides the henna, which is carried by singing children to the bride's house. The groom himself also makes a brief appearance at this all-female gathering.

On the wedding day, the bride visits the salon with her female relatives and friends. They then return to the bride's father's home to await the arrival of the groom's procession. Meanwhile, a larger party takes place at the groom's family home, with male relatives and friends invited to lunch, while musicians play tambourines outside. After the afternoon prayer, the procession begins. The groom traditionally rides a horse adorned with embroidered cloth, accompanied by his family members and musicians.

Upon reaching the bride's home, the men listen to a short sermon about marriage before escorting the groom inside. The wedding ceremony commences, with the couple sitting together on a decorated sofa. They participate in various traditions, such as the "mirror and Quran" ritual, where they are covered with a shawl and given a mirror wrapped in cloth. They then take turns reading verses from the Quran.

The wedding ceremony is followed by a smaller procession to bring the newlyweds to their new home. An animal, such as a sheep or goat, is sacrificed upon the bride's arrival, and she hammers a nail into the doorway to symbolize the strength of their marriage.

The celebrations continue for several days after the wedding. The day after the wedding, the bride's family brings her breakfast or lunch to her new home. Additionally, a few days later, a housewarming ceremony is held, where close friends and relatives bring gifts for the new bride.

Afghan weddings are known for their hospitality and devotion to family and community. They are often extravagant affairs, with large guest lists, lavish meals, and significant expenses for the wedding hall, food, entertainment, and the bride price. The groom and his family traditionally bear the financial burden of the wedding, which can easily exceed $10,000, posing a significant financial challenge for many families.

The groom's family pays for the wedding

In Afghanistan, weddings are a significant event in the life of a man and woman who unite in marriage. The wedding ceremony is a once-in-a-lifetime event, making it essential to be enjoyable, memorable, and exciting. The groom's family traditionally bears the financial burden of the wedding, which includes the bride price, engagement payment, and lavish celebrations.

The groom's family initiates the marriage proposal, and the bride's family accepts or rejects it. Once the families agree, negotiations begin, including discussions on the bride price, which can be lengthy. The groom is expected to raise the money for the wedding and the bride price, but often receives help from his family. The bride price is determined by the father of the bride or, in his absence, her oldest brother. It is based on factors such as family background, education, skills, age, beauty, and recent bride prices within the community.

The groom's family also pays for the engagement, which is a vital component of the wedding process, allowing the couple to get to know each other. The bride's family organises and pays for the engagement party, which is usually held at the bride's home.

The wedding itself is a lavish affair, with the groom's family hosting hundreds or even thousands of guests. The wedding ceremony usually takes place in the evening and includes music, dancing, and a variety of Afghan foods. The groom's family is responsible for the costs of the wedding venue, food, entertainment, and the bride's attire.

The financial burden of the wedding and related expenses on the groom's family is significant and can lead to debt. In some cases, grooms have had to delay their weddings or take out loans to cover the costs. The high cost of weddings in Afghanistan has become a social issue, with the government proposing laws to limit guest numbers and spending.

While the bride's family does not traditionally pay for the wedding, they do incur costs for pre-wedding gifts and celebrations. These include Iftari, Eidi, Nowrozi, and Barati, which are given to the bride by the groom's family on various occasions before the wedding.

Overall, the groom's family bears the majority of the financial responsibility for the wedding in Afghanistan, following the tradition that the bride is doing the groom a favour by leaving her home to join his life.

The bride wears green, then white

In Afghan weddings, the bride traditionally wears green, then white. The colour green is derived from a Quran verse which describes how people will wear green silk in paradise. It symbolises wealth, good fortune, purity and happiness for the couple's new life.

The wedding ceremony in Afghanistan is a collection of exhilarating observances of old traditions and customs. The bride wears green for the nikah, the religious ceremony, and then transitions to a white dress for the next part of the ceremony. The white dress is a Western tradition, started by Queen Victoria, which has been adopted as a status symbol.

The nikah is a short and private ceremony, usually taking place on the wedding day, with only the couple's immediate family and the mullah present. The bride wears green to symbolise her purity and happiness for her new life, and the groom wears a traditional Afghan outfit. After the nikah, the couple leaves the hall and the guests are served dinner. The bride and groom then return to the hall, this time with the bride in white, and cut their wedding cake.

Afghan weddings are extravagant affairs, lasting several days, with many traditions to observe. The bride's family is considered to be in a more powerful position than the groom's, as it is seen as a favour to the groom for the bride to leave her home and join his life. The groom and his family are therefore responsible for all wedding expenses.

The wedding cake is cut by the couple

Afghan weddings are elaborate affairs that can last several days. The wedding cake is an important part of the celebration and is traditionally cut by the couple. Here are some details about this special moment:

The Significance of the Wedding Cake

In Afghanistan, weddings are a significant social event that strengthens family bonds and unites different ethnic groups. The wedding cake is a symbol of this unity and celebration. It is considered an important entrée in the wedding menu, and the couple cutting the cake together signifies their union and new life together.

The Tradition of Cake-Cutting

After the Nikah (wedding ceremony), the couple returns to the hall, and the guests are served tea. Then comes the momentous occasion of cake-cutting. The newly married couple first cut the cake together, following the tradition. This act symbolizes their love and commitment to each other and their new life as a married couple.

The Distribution of the Cake

After the couple has cut the cake, a family member helps with the serving. The wedding cake is then distributed among the guests, who get to share in the sweetness of the celebration. This distribution is an inclusive act, ensuring that everyone present is part of the joyous occasion.

The Magnitude of the Cake

Afghan wedding cakes are often large and impressive. A typical wedding cake weighs around 20 kilograms and is made using 30 eggs, 5 kilograms of Iranian cream, and 7 kilograms of sugar. These cakes are usually sold by the kilo, with the average size being 20 kilos. The cake-cutting moment, therefore, involves a substantial dessert that is shared generously with all in attendance.

The Variety of Afghan Cakes

Afghan cakes come in many varieties, and the wedding cake is often a special type known as "Cake e Jawari," made with corn flour, all-purpose flour, eggs, milk, sugar, oil, vanilla extract, and baking powder. Another popular choice is the coffee cake, which has a coffee filling. For those who prefer fried treats, there are Afghan Khajoor (or Bosrauq), which are small, round, and fluffy cakes made by deep-frying dough.

The wedding cake is a highlight of Afghan weddings, and the couple's cake-cutting moment is a cherished tradition. It is a sweet symbol of unity and a new beginning, shared generously with all the guests.

The bride's family distributes food to relatives

Afghan weddings are a significant event in the life of a couple and are meant to be enjoyable, exciting, hilarious, and memorable. The bride's family distributing food to relatives is a crucial part of Afghan wedding traditions and customs. Here are some paragraphs describing this aspect in detail:

The Significance of Food Distribution

Afghan weddings are known for their extravagant celebrations, with even poor families spending significant amounts on food, decorations, and entertainment. The bride's family plays a vital role in this by distributing food to their relatives. This act is seen as a symbol of hospitality, which is highly valued in Afghan society. It is a way for the family to show their generosity and respect for their community.

Pre-Wedding Food Distribution

Even before the wedding, the bride's family distributes food and sweets to their relatives during the pre-wedding celebrations. One such occasion is the "Shirini Khori," where the bride's family accepts the groom's proposal. The family distributes sweets, known as "Khimcha," to all family members, symbolizing the new bond between the families. This tradition is deeply rooted in Afghan culture and is considered a joyful occasion for both families.

The Wedding Feast

Afghan weddings usually feature a variety of traditional dishes, including rice, meat, and sweets. The bride's family often provides food for the wedding guests, which can number in the hundreds. The wedding feast, called the "Walima," can last for two days, with an abundance of food being served. The bride and groom are served first, followed by the guests, who line up to receive their food. The wedding feast is a time for celebration and enjoyment, with guests indulging in the delicious cuisine.

The Importance of Family

By distributing food to their relatives, the bride's family reinforces the importance of family in Afghan culture. Weddings are seen as a time to come together and celebrate with loved ones. The distribution of food is a way for the family to express their gratitude and strengthen their bonds with their relatives. It is a gesture that showcases the family's generosity and hospitality, which are highly valued virtues in Afghan society.

A Symbol of Celebration

The distribution of food by the bride's family is also a symbol of celebration and joy. It is a way for the family to share their happiness with their community. By providing food to their relatives, they are inviting them to partake in the festivities and celebrate the union of the couple. This act of sharing and generosity adds to the festive atmosphere of the wedding, making it a memorable occasion for all who attend.

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